350+ Hilarious Bagel Puns & Jokes 2025

Mark Trumble

March 3, 2025

Table Of Contents

You’re about to discover a collection of bagel puns that’ll make you smile. They’re clever, cheesy, and undeniably fun. As you explore these jokes, you’ll find they’re not just crust-deep, but actually quite witty.

You’re probably wondering what kind of humor you’ll uncover – will it be a joke that’s the cream cheese to your bagel, or something entirely new? Either way, you’re in for a treat that’ll leave you wanting more.

Best Bagel Puns & Jokes (2025)

Bagel puns and jokes bring a delightful twist to the world of baked goods, offering a lighthearted and humorous take on a beloved breakfast or snack item. This collection of the best bagel puns and jokes is designed to entertain, with a variety of clever quips and playful expressions that are sure to rise to the occasion and bring a smile to your face.

Here are some of the best bagel puns and jokes:

Why did the bagel break up with the cream cheese? Because they had a dough-mestic dispute.
What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? Dough-wop!
Why was the bagel so good at poker? It always held a good hand.
What do you call a bagel that’s always positive? An everything bagel.
Why did the bagel refuse to fight? It preferred to make peace, one hole at a time.
How does a bagel greet its friends? “Hey, let’s get together and have a hole lot of fun!”
What do you call a bagel that tells lies? A crumby liar.
Why was the bagel so popular? Because it was a-dough-rable.
What did the bagel say to the chef? “I knead your help!”
Why did the bagel bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to get to the top of the dough-nation.
What is a bagel’s favorite sport? Dough-nuts.
Why did the bagel bring a map? It wanted to find the best spread in town.
What’s a bagel’s favorite movie genre? Horror, because it loves a good scare (dough).
What did the bagel say to the baker? “You’ve got some serious crust-worthiness!”
Why did the bagel win the race? It was always a-head of the game.
How do you make a bagel laugh? Tell it a k-not-so-funny joke.
What do you call a bagel that’s good at business? A real dough-getter.
Why did the bagel get a promotion? It always rose to the challenge.
What did the bagel say when it finished its workout? “I’m feeling totally toasted!”
Why did the bagel refuse to share? Because it was a little bit selfish (dough).
What do you call a bagel that’s always in a hurry? An on-the-go-gel.
Why did the bagel blush? Because it saw the dressing!
What did the bagel say to the bagel shop owner? “I’m ready to rise to any occasion!”
Why did the bagel get a degree? It wanted to be well-rounded.
What did the bagel say when it was complimented? “I’m just a simple bun, but I try my best!”
Why was the bagel so good at solving puzzles? It always found a-hole-utions.
What did the bagel say to the chef when it was ready to be baked? “I’m ready to be put to the test!”
Why did the bagel start a blog? Because it had a lot to dough.
Why was the bagel always chosen for the team? Because it was a-dough-rable.

Funny Bagel One-Liners & Wordplay

Bagel puns are a hole lot of fun, and this collection is sure to rise to the occasion. Get ready to indulge in a crispy array of funny bagel one-liners and wordplay that will make you laugh, smile, and perhaps even crave a freshly baked bagel. From clever twists on classic phrases to cheesy bagel-themed jokes, this list has it all.

Here are some of the best bagel one-liners and wordplay:

I tried to start a bagel business, but it was a tough roll.
Why did the bagel go to the bank? It wanted to make a dough-nation.
What did the bagel say to the impatient customer? “Just a moment, I’m rising to the occasion.”
Why did the bagel get a promotion? It was always a-head of the competition.
What do you call a bagel that’s always punctual? On-time bagel.
Why did the bagel win the spelling bee? It knew all the right words to make it rise.
Why did the bagel become a comedian? It had a great sense of humor, and everything was a-dough-rable.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great dancer? A rising star.
Why did the bagel get a loan? To get a little more dough to rise.
What did the bagel say to the baker after a long day? “I’m all baked out!”
Why did the bagel become a lawyer? It was great at defending its crust.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great leader? The top of the batch.
Why did the bagel decide to write a book? It had a lot of stories to tell, all about the hole truth.
What did the bagel say to the coffee? “Let’s get this day rolling!”
Why did the bagel apply for a job in the kitchen? It wanted to get in on the baking.

Also Read: Rodeo Puns & Jokes

What do you call a bagel that’s always prepared? A well-rounded bagel.
Why did the bagel break up with the cream cheese? They couldn’t see eye to eye, always had a dough-mestic issue.
What did the bagel say to the picky eater? “Try it, you might like it, give it a chance!”
Why did the bagel get a new car? It wanted a faster way to the oven.
What do you call a bagel that is really kind? A very kind bagel.
Why did the bagel decide to become a fashion model? It wanted to show off its beautiful crust.
What did the bagel say when it was feeling down? “I need a good rise.”
Why did the bagel become a travel agent? To help people find the best places to get their dough-nuts.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great athlete? Dough-minating the game.
Why did the bagel go to the library? It wanted to learn more about its roots.
What did the bagel say to the alarm clock? “Time to get up and go!”
Why did the bagel get a new hat? It wanted a new look to match it’s great taste.
What do you call a bagel that’s always happy? A bright and cheerful bagel.
Why did the bagel become a motivational speaker? To inspire everyone to rise to the occasion!

Best Bagel Jokes & Puns for Social Media (2025)

When it comes to bagel puns, the possibilities are endless, and they’re sure to rise to the occasion on social media. Whether you’re a bagel enthusiast or just looking for a way to butter up your followers, these bagel jokes and puns are the perfect way to add some flavor to your online presence.

From witty one-liners to clever plays on words, here are some of the best bagel puns to get you started:

Why was the bagel feeling so confident? Because it knew it was a-dough-rable.
What’s a bagel’s favorite social media platform? Insta-gram!
Why did the bagel get a promotion at the bakery? It always rose to the occasion.
You’re the cream cheese to my bagel, making everything better.
Why was the bagel so good at math? It knew all the formulas for perfect circles.
I like my bagels like I like my friends: well-rounded and full of flavor.
What did the bagel say to its crush? “You’re the everything I ever knead.”
Why did the bagel start a podcast? It had a lot to spill, especially about its dough-ter.
I’m not saying I’m a bagel, but I’m definitely a-dough-rable.
Why did the bagel become a photographer? It had a great eye for capturing the perfect crust.
You’re the perfect topping to my bagel, no matter what.
Why did the bagel go to the spa? It needed a little pampering for its crust.
Let’s get together, I want to have a hole lot of fun with you.
What do you call a bagel that’s always optimistic? An everything-is-possible bagel.
Why did the bagel get a standing ovation? It gave a truly rising performance.
I’m not sure what I’d do without a bagel in my life.
What’s a bagel’s favorite game? Dough-minos.
Why did the bagel start a business? To get some dough.
You’re a hole-some person, and that’s why I like you.
What do you call a bagel that’s always punctual? A punctual bagel.
I love you like a bagel loves cream cheese.
Why did the bagel become a chef? It loved to make people’s day a little brighter.
What’s the bagel’s favorite song? “Roll with It.”
You’re the sprinkles on my bagel.
Why did the bagel become a therapist? Because it listened so carefully to every problem.
What do you call a bagel that’s good at making decisions? A well-rounded bagel.
Life’s too short to eat a bagel that’s not perfectly toasted.
What did the bagel say to the mirror? “You’re looking good today!”
You’re the butter to my bagel.

Corny Bagel Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Get ready to rise to the occasion with some crusty humor, as we plunge into the world of bagel puns.

Expect a hole lot of laughs and some knead-to-know jokes that will make your day a little brighter.

From sesame to poppy, we’re covering all the bases with these crumby jokes.

Here are some corny bagel jokes that will make you laugh:

Why was the bagel so calm? It was feeling hole-istic.
I tried to make a bagel joke, but it fell flat.
What did the bagel say when it finally reached its goal? “I made it to the top!”
Why did the bagel get a promotion? Because it always showed initiative and rose to the challenge.
What do you call a bagel that’s good at math? A sum-thing special.
Why did the bagel blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the bagel join a choir? It loved to sing a-dough-rable harmonies.
What did the bagel say when it was feeling overwhelmed? “I knead a break!”
Why was the bagel always invited to the parties? Because it was always a ring-leader.
What do you call a bagel that’s always prepared? A well-rounded individual.
Why did the bagel become a scientist? It wanted to discover the secrets of perfect baking.
What did the bagel say when it met its soulmate? “I’ve found my better half!”
Why did the bagel go to the art gallery? To admire the dough-vincis.
What do you call a bagel that’s very mysterious? A dough-tective.
Why did the bagel start a charity? It wanted to give back to the community.
What did the bagel say to the baker? “You’ve got me toasty!”
Why did the bagel become a librarian? It loved to read about its past.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great friend? A hole-some companion.
Why did the bagel go to the racetrack? It wanted to see if it could beat the odds.

Also Read: Funny Oyster Puns & Jokes

What did the bagel say to the comedian? “You’ve got some serious crust-worthy jokes.”
Why did the bagel enter the talent show? It wanted to show off its rising talent.
What do you call a bagel that’s always in a good mood? A happy-go-gel.
Why did the bagel write a love letter? To tell someone how much it kneaded them.
What did the bagel say when it was feeling under the weather? “I’m feeling crumby.”
Why did the bagel start a garden? To grow its own seeds of greatness.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great listener? A hole lot of compassion.
Why did the bagel go to the concert? It wanted to see the dough-nuts.
What did the bagel say to the sun? “You make me rise and shine.”
Why did the bagel learn to play the piano? It wanted to make some sweet dough.

Clever Bagel Jokes for Every Occasion (2025)

Get ready to rise to the occasion with these clever bagel jokes that are sure to spread laughter and joy. Whether you’re a bagel enthusiast or just looking for some crusty humor, this collection has got you covered.

From classic bagel puns to more intricate jokes, there’s something for everyone. So, sit back, relax, and indulge in these tasty bagel jokes.

Why was the bagel so good at poker? It always held a good hand, full of everything.
What did the bagel say when it saw the ocean? “I’m feeling a-dough-rable!”
Why did the bagel win the award? It had outstanding rise-ults.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great detective? A hole-in-one sleuth.
Why did the bagel become a fashion icon? It always had a great crust and look.
Why did the bagel start a YouTube channel? To share its dough-minant personality.
What did the bagel say when it finished its crossword puzzle? “I’ve solved the dough-lemma!”
Why did the bagel go to space? It wanted to explore the universe, hole and all.
Why did the bagel get a promotion? It was always rising to the challenge.
What do you call a bagel that’s always prepared? A well-baked and ready bagel.
Why did the bagel write a song? It had a lot of bread-taking lyrics.
What did the bagel say to the coffee? “Let’s make a perfect blend, together.”
Why did the bagel become a lawyer? It was great at defending its crust and the dough.
What do you call a bagel that’s full of surprises? An everything bagel.
Why did the bagel join a dance class? It wanted to learn the perfect twist.
What did the bagel say to its reflection? “You’re looking a-dough-rable today!”
Why did the bagel become a chef? It wanted to create amazing things.
What do you call a bagel that always speaks the truth? An honest and genuine bagel.
Why did the bagel get a new car? It wanted to get to the shop fast.
What did the bagel say when it was ready for the party? “I’m ready to be toasted!”
Why did the bagel become a poet? It knew how to make a great read.
What do you call a bagel that is very kind? A very kind and generous bagel.
Why did the bagel start a business? It was trying to make a few dough-nations.
What did the bagel say when it was feeling lazy? “I’m just gonna loaf around.”
Why did the bagel go to the casino? It wanted to roll the dice.
What do you call a bagel that’s good at listening? A bagel with a hole lot of patience.
Why did the bagel become a teacher? Because it loved to rise to the occasion.
What did the bagel say to the baker? “You’re the best friend I’ve ever kneaded.”
Why did the bagel start a podcast? To share it’s amazing views with the world.

Hilarious Bagel Dad Jokes

Hilarious bagel dad jokes are a staple of breakfast tables and coffee shops everywhere, bringing a rise out of even the grumpiest of morning grouches. With their layered meanings and twisted twists on classic phrases, these jokes are the cream cheese to our morning bagel.

Expect a carb-loaded comedic extravaganza that will have you giggling, guffawing, and possibly even groaning at the sheer audacity of it all.

Why was the bagel feeling so proud? Because it was a-dough-rable!
I tried to make a bagel pun, but it was a little flat.
What did the bagel say to the coffee? “Let’s make a great duo together.”
Why did the bagel become a doctor? Because it was good at making people hole-some.
What do you call a bagel that’s always on time? A punctual and ready bagel.
Why did the bagel go to the gym? It wanted to get a lot of strength.
What did the bagel say when it was feeling happy? “I’m on a roll!”
Why was the bagel so good at baseball? It knew how to curve the ball.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great leader? A real top-dog.
Why did the bagel start a family? To get more dough.
What did the bagel say when it went to the party? “I’m ready to be toasted!”
Why did the bagel become a comedian? To make people laugh.
What do you call a bagel that’s very kind? A very kind and well-rounded bagel.
Why did the bagel go to the music class? It wanted to make some great sound.
What did the bagel say to its friend? “We make the best combination.”
Why did the bagel become a scientist? To know more about the science of baking.

Also Read: Funny Koala Puns & Jokes

What do you call a bagel that is full of surprises? An everything bagel.
Why did the bagel go to the library? To learn about the art of making dough.
What did the bagel say to the chef? “You are the best in the world!”
Why did the bagel start to run? To get some more energy.
What do you call a bagel that tells jokes? A great jokester bagel.
Why did the bagel go to the theater? It wanted to see some amazing performances.
What did the bagel say when it met its soulmate? “You’re the better half to my hole.”
Why did the bagel become a teacher? Because it was great at rising to the occasion.
What do you call a bagel that is very wise? An everything wise bagel.
Why did the bagel go to the swimming pool? It wanted to take a dive.
What did the bagel say to the sun? “You make me feel hot and ready!”
Why did the bagel get a car? To explore the world.
What do you call a bagel that is very happy? A very cheerful and well-toasted bagel.

Bagel Jokes & Puns That Will Never Get Old (2025)

Bagel Puns are the perfect treat to brighten up anyone’s day, and this collection of jokes and puns promises to deliver a laugh with every bite.

From the simple pleasures of a well-crafted pun to the groan-inducing delight of a cheesy joke, this assortment of bagel-themed humor is sure to please even the most discerning palate.

With a focus on creativity and originality, these jokes and puns will never get old, providing endless entertainment for bagel enthusiasts and pun lovers alike.

Why was the bagel so popular? Because it was a-dough-rable and full of charm.
What did the bagel say to the salt? “You’re the perfect seasoning.”
Why did the bagel become a pilot? It wanted to experience new heights.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great friend? A hole-some companion.
Why did the bagel start to run? To get some energy.
What did the bagel say when it was feeling tired? “I’m all out of rise.”
Why did the bagel get a new job? It wanted to start a new phase.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great listener? An all ears and heart bagel.
Why did the bagel go to the spa? To relax and get some treatment.
What did the bagel say to the cheese? “We make a great blend!”
Why did the bagel become a detective? It had a great instinct.
What do you call a bagel that’s very creative? A very imaginative bagel.
Why did the bagel get a new pet? It wanted to be friends with them.
What did the bagel say when it finished its run? “I feel great!”
Why did the bagel go to the show? It wanted to enjoy some good acts.
What do you call a bagel that’s a great singer? A melodic masterpiece.
Why did the bagel start a new career? To start a new journey.
What did the bagel say to the mirror? “You are the best.”
Why did the bagel decide to write a book? It had a lot to share with the world.
What do you call a bagel that is very wise? A very kind and generous bagel.
Why did the bagel go to the race? It wanted to be a champion.
What did the bagel say to the toast? “We are a great combination!”
Why did the bagel get a new hobby? To have fun and explore.
What do you call a bagel that always says hello? A very friendly bagel.
Why did the bagel go to the concert? To make some good memories.
What did the bagel say when it went to the beach? “I feel great with the waves!”
Why did the bagel go to school? To learn and grow.
What do you call a bagel that is very kind? A very kind and happy bagel.
Why did the bagel start a garden? To enjoy the nature.

Conclusion

You’re now a master of bagel puns, ready to rise to the occasion and spread cheesy joy! With these hole-y hilarious jokes, you’ll be the toast of any conversation.

Don’t be crumby, share them with friends and family – they’ll never get old! You’ll be dough-lightful, and everyone will love your crusty charm and witty wordplay!