480+ Thursday Puns & Jokes 2025 [Short, Funny & Cute]

Mark Trumble

June 25, 2025

Thursday Puns & Jokes [cy] [Short, Funny & Cute]

Table Of Contents

Thursday is the day where the excitement of the upcoming weekend starts to build, and what better way to spark that joy than with a collection of jokes and puns? The perfect icebreaker to get everyone laughing, these Thursday puns & one-liner jokes add a humorous twist to the end-of-week countdown.

Whether you’re getting through the final stretch of your workweek or hosting a happy hour with friends, a good laugh is the ideal way to set the tone. Dive into a world of witty one-liners, clever wordplay, and giggles that will make Thursday feel like Friday’s funnier cousin.

Get ready to brighten up your week and laugh your way into the weekend!

Thirsty Thursday Jokes & Puns to Kickstart Your Weekend Fun

Why did the beer go to school? It wanted to get a little “buzz”ed!
It’s Thirsty Thursday: the only day you can say you’re hydrating with beer.
What do you call a Thursday when you’ve run out of beer? A catastrophe!
Thursday: The only day where it’s socially acceptable to start “hydrating” early.
You know it’s Thirsty Thursday when you don’t care about calories in your drink.
If you’re thirsty on a Thursday, it means you’re right on schedule!
I told my drink to stop looking at me… it’s getting too “glass”y-eyed.
Every Thursday should be happy hour, and happy hour should last forever.
Thursday is just a pregame to a “fun-filled” Friday.
Is it just me, or does water taste way better on a Thursday with some hops in it?
How do you make a drink disappear on a Thursday? Drink it!
On Thursdays, we drink like it’s Friday.
Why did the bartender break up with the bottle? He said, “I need some space, you’re always on tap!”
What did the wine say to the grape? “You’re ageing gracefully.”
I told my wife I needed to go to the bar tonight. She asked, “Why?” I replied, “It’s Thirsty Thursday and the couch is too comfortable to sit on!”
Why did the cocktail blush? Because it saw the gin and tonic getting mixed.
I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans after Thanksgiving or my grip on my beer on Thirsty Thursday.
What’s a pirate’s favorite day of the week? Thirs-ARR-sday!
Why was the whiskey so bad at poker? It kept getting caught with a full flask.
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I drink.” – My Thirsty Thursday motto.
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry. (Good excuse for a strawberry daiquiri)
Thirsty Thursday: Because sometimes you need a perfectly good reason to be irresponsible.
I’m not saying I have a problem with Thirsty Thursday, but my therapist keeps recommending I try Water Wednesday.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey want to grab a drink for Thirsty Thursday?
Why did the beer go to school? To get a little head.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
If life gives you lemons on a Thursday, add vodka.
Thirsty Thursday: Because the weekend is too far away to wait.
What did the bartender say on Thursday? “Pour-tunately, it’s time for a drink!”
Wine not? It’s Thirsty Thursday after all!
Drinking on Thursday is like stretching before the main workout – the weekend!
Do Thursday drinks count as cardio? Asking for a friend.
What’s a zombie’s favorite drink on Thirsty Thursday? A BRAIN freeze.
I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a Thirsty Thursday enthusiast.
What did the tequila say to the lime? “I think we’re meant to be.”
If Monday is for coffee, and Wednesday is for wine, then Thirsty Thursday must be for… everything!
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So, now I drink in front of a mirror. Happy Thirsty Thursday!
If you can’t handle me at my Thursday thirsty, you don’t deserve me at my Friday fun.

The Funniest Thirsty Thursday Puns for Happy Hour in 2025

I have mixed drinks about Thursdays.
Beer there, done that, on a Thursday night.
Why did the margarita break up with the Thursday? It found a Friday to tequila with.
You know it’s Thursday when your wine glass says, “fill me up before you go-go.”
Thirsty Thursday: Where every sip feels like a pun-ishment… of joy.
If Thursday was a drink, it would be gin – because it’s almost the weekend, gin-nally.
I only drink on two occasions – when it’s Thursday, and when it’s not.
Thirsty Thursdays: Where the drinks are cold, and the puns are ice-cold.

Also Read: Monday Puns & One-Liner Jokes

Don’t “rum” from your responsibilities – pour them into a Thursday drink.
I’m not a regular Thursday drinker; I’m a “wine and dine on Thursday” drinker.
Why does Thursday taste like gin? Because it’s just the right tonic for the week.
It’s a Thirsty Thursday – time to uncork and unwind!
Why did the bartender get a promotion? He had spirits! It was Thirsty Thursday, so he was really getting into the spirit of things.
I’m not saying I’m thirsty, but I’m ready to wine down for Thirsty Thursday.
What’s a beer’s favorite day of the week? Thirsty Thursday, obviously!
On Thirsty Thursday, I’m all about that bass… no treble, just a lot of beers.
Why was the glass so popular on Thirsty Thursday? It knew how to hold its liquor.
I’m brew-tiful, I’m strong, I’m independent, and I’m ready for Thirsty Thursday!
Thirsty Thursday is my favorite exercise: Lifting pints is great cardio.
Lettuce celebrate Thirsty Thursday with some good food and drinks! (For the healthy-ish crowd.)
Donut kill my vibe, it’s Thirsty Thursday! (Best paired with donut-themed cocktails).
Why did the cocktail refuse to fight on Thirsty Thursday? It preferred to be shaken, not stirred.
I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my budget before Thirsty Thursday.
Espresso yourself, it’s almost Thirsty Thursday! (For those starting early.)
Feeling stressed? I know a place… it’s called Thirsty Thursday.
It’s Thirsty Thursday, so I’m legally required to have a drink. I don’t make the rules.
Thirsty Thursday: the only day of the week I actively encourage peer pressure.
I love Thirsty Thursday a latte.
What did the wine say to the glass on Thursday? “I’m ready to be filled!”
Keep calm and get your drink on… it’s Thirsty Thursday!
My therapist told me to embrace my feelings, so I’m embracing a cocktail on Thirsty Thursday.
I like my Thirsty Thursdays how I like myself: on the rocks, strong, and with a bit of sass.
The only shots I’ll be taking on Thursday are in a glass.
Whiskey on Thursday: Making “sip” happen since forever.
Forget the “blues,” it’s time for the “brews” on a Thursday!
What’s the difference between a Thursday drink and the rest of the week? Nothing, if you do it right.
It’s Thirsty Thursday! Time to bottle up the stress and pop the fun!
Thursday is the day when it’s acceptable to have more mixers than responsibilities.
The best way to solve Thursday’s problems is to drown them – in a drink.

Laugh Out Loud with These Thirsty Thursday Drinking Jokes

Why do Thursdays feel like Fridays? Because the drinks are just as strong.
If drinking on a Thursday is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Bartender: “What’ll it be?” Me on a Thursday: “Yes.”
I’m not sure what’s tighter, my budget or my jeans after all these Thirsty Thursday beers.
Why did the bartender break up with the glass? He said it was too clingy.
Thirsty Thursday: because no great story started with eating a salad.
My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes, so I’m embracing these Thirsty Thursday cocktails.
What do you call an alcoholic that can’t stay sober? Irreparable.
A glass a day keeps the Thursday blues away – well, at least until Friday.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Thursday. Thursday who? Thursday’s the new Friday!
They say “time flies,” but on Thursdays, I think it just “pours.”
Why did the cocktail break up with the mixer? It was too “stir”-ious.
What’s a Thursday without a drink? A Monday in disguise.
Why did the beer go to school? To get a little more head!
What’s a pirate’s favorite day of the week? Thirsty!
I’m not saying I’m excited for Thirsty Thursday, but I’ve already started hydrating… with beer.
Why did the lemon quit his job at the brewery? He couldn’t handle the zest!
Is it Thirsty Thursday yet? My doctor prescribed me a pint to stay healthy.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a chug. I call it a “Thirsty Thursday warm-up.”
What do you call a happy alcoholic? A win-o.
Why did the wine bottle cross the road? To get to the other vine!
My Thirsty Thursday plans include 60% hydration, 40% bad decisions.
What’s the best way to tell if a vampire is drunk? He has bat breath!
I’m not saying I’m addicted to Thirsty Thursday, but my blood type is probably IPA positive.
The only chaser I need on a Thursday is a Friday morning with no regrets.
On Thursdays, the only “shaken” thing should be your cocktail.
What’s a Thursday drink’s best friend? A Friday morning coffee.
Dear Thursday, can you make the drinks stronger? Sincerely, the Week.
Thirsty Thursday: Because sometimes, water just doesn’t cut it.
Why did the wine stay in on Thursday? It needed a break from all the “pour” decisions.
Thursdays are for pitchers – whether it’s beer or a picture-perfect moment.
Bartender, I’ll have whatever makes it feel like Friday.
Ever notice how Thursday tastes like a mini-Saturday?
Why did the cocktail blush? Because it saw the gin and tonic stripping!
I love Thirsty Thursday! It’s the only day of the week where I can legally practice my mixology skills…poorly.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I drink beer. It’s perfect for Thirsty Thursday!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Whiskey. Whiskey who? Whiskey I had a beer, it’s Thirsty Thursday!
The only “workout” on a Thursday is lifting a glass from the table to my mouth.
Thursday nights: Proof that one good drink deserves another.

Celebrate the Weekend with Thirsty Thursday Humor

Thursday’s best tradition? Happy hour.
Why do drinks taste better on a Thursday? Because they’re seasoned with almost-weekend vibes.
On Thursdays, my blood type is officially “B-positive” – as in beer.
What do you call a sober Thursday? A missed opportunity.
It’s Thirsty Thursday, which is like Friday, but with more hope… and slightly worse decision-making.
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve water here.” The man says, “Then what do you have that’s similar?”
Why did the bartender quit his job? He couldn’t handle the spirits! Time for me to handle some instead.
What’s the best way to organize a space party? You planet! Now, what planet are we going to for Thirsty Thursday?
Thursday isn’t just a day – it’s a mood. A very thirsty mood.
Thirsty Thursday: Because Friday deserves a proper pregame.
The best thing about Thursdays? You’re only a drink away from the weekend.
Happy Thursday! Let’s pour some joy and stir up some fun.
Thursday is the best day for a liquid celebration.
Why did the beer bottle blush? Because it saw the bar being stripped!
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry. Time to cheer it up with a cocktail!
I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans after Thanksgiving or my schedule before the weekend. Thank goodness it’s Thirsty Thursday!
My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home and had a drink. Happy Thirsty Thursday!
Why did the coffee go to the police? It got mugged! But I’m switching to something stronger for Thirsty Thursday.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Why did the orange stop running? He ran out of juice. I need to recharge my batteries with a Thirsty Thursday beverage.
I tried to explain to my kids what alcohol was. They still don’t get it. I guess I’ll have to show them this Thirsty Thursday.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just Thirsty Thursday! Have a drink!
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
Thirsty Thursdays are like Fridays with training wheels.
Why wait for the weekend when you can toast to Thursday?
Drink like it’s Thursday – because it is.
The secret ingredient to a perfect Thursday? A drink, and a lot of laughs.
I don’t have a drinking problem. I have a Thursday night solution.
Thirsty Thursday: It’s wine o’clock somewhere.
Why did the wine blush on Thursday? It saw the tequila making moves.
What’s the difference between a pub and a job? After work, you’re happy to go to the pub.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode for the weekend. But tonight is Thirsty Thursday, gotta go full power.
Why did the cocktail win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
What’s a pirate’s favorite day of the week? Thirst-day! Arrgh matey!
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” Now what cocktails pair well with seafood for Thirsty Thursday?
Cheers to Thursdays – for making Fridays seem like the main course.
What does a Thursday drink say to the weekend? “I’ll be there soon.”
Thirsty Thursdays: Where every drink has a happy ending.

Happy Hour Just Got Better with These Thirsty Thursday Puns

Happy hour is the best way to make Thursday feel like Friday.
Why did the beer break up with Thursday? Because it found a better match on Friday.
Happy hour on Thursday is like a sneak peek into the weekend.
Thursday is a great day for a little “sip-sational” fun.
Why be moody when you can shake up a Thursday cocktail?
Thursdays are just prequels to the Friday “pour-fests.”
Why did the beer bottle break up with the wine glass? Too much hop-portunity!
I’m not sure what’s thirstier, me or my puns right now.
Feeling a little “grape,” ready to wine down tonight!
What’s a bartender’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good pour-us!
Let’s raise a glass to Thirsty Thursday – it’s un-beer-lievably close to the weekend!
I’m not a heavy drinker, I just enjoy a good “spirits” session on Thursdays.
Why did the cocktail blush? It saw the gin and tonic stripping!
I’m all about that baste, ’bout that baste, no treble… oh wait, wrong kind of thirst!
Happy Thirsty Thursday! May your glass be ever full and your spirits high (in proof).
What do you call a sad martini? A blue Monday. Let’s avoid that!
I’m not saying I need a drink, but I can hear the liquor calling my name.
Keep calm and pour on. It’s Thirsty Thursday!
Why did the lime cross the road? To get to the gin on the other side!
Having a beer-y good time this Thirsty Thursday!
It’s Thirsty Thursday, which means I’m one step closer to telling my boss what I really think. (Just kidding… mostly.)
I have mixed drinks about feelings… especially on Thirsty Thursday.
What’s a vampire’s favorite drink on Thirsty Thursday? Bloody Marys!
My therapist told me to embrace my thirst… for knowledge… but Happy Hour helps too!
Thirsty Thursday: When your wallet cries, but your soul sings.
Tonight, I’m going to let loose and unleash my inner wine-o-saur!
The best way to make Thursday better? A happy hour with a twist… of lime.
Why did the martini smile on Thursday? It knew it was going to be shaken, not stirred.
When Thursday says “Happy Hour,” you answer with a resounding “Cheers!”
Thursday’s forecast? A 100% chance of happy hour.
A Thursday without a happy hour is like a Friday without a weekend.
If life gives you a Thursday, make it a happy one – with drinks!
Thirsty Thursdays are happy hours that last all night long.
Thursday puns are like cocktails – best served cold with a little garnish of humor.
They say Thursdays are “almost Fridays,” but let’s just call it Happy Hour Day.
Thursday’s happy hour: When the fun is “brewing” just right.
What’s better than a Thursday happy hour? Two Thursday happy hours.
Don’t wait for the weekend – pour yourself some Thursday fun now.
Happy hour on Thursday: Because it’s never too early to start the weekend.

Thursday Memes and Jokes to Brighten Your Week

Thursdays are like the distant cousins of Fridays – close, but not quite there.
Why did Thursday break up with Monday? It found a better match in Friday.
Why do Thursdays get all the laughs? Because they bring the best memes to the party.
Need a meme to survive Thursday? How about a meme-garita!
If Thursday was a person, it would be the one saying, “Don’t worry, almost there!”
Thursday is like that friend who’s always down for a midweek drink.
Why do we love Thursdays? Because memes + drinks = perfection.
Why did Thursday get a promotion? Because it was outstanding in its field… of almost-the-weekend!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo on a Thursday? Pouch potato.
I hate when I have to think on Thursdays… especially when I have to think about work.
Thursday: the day when even my coffee needs a coffee.
Why did Thursday bring a ladder to work? To get over hump day!
On Thursdays, my to-do list has a to-do list.
I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my budget…especially on a Thursday waiting for payday.
What’s Thursday’s favorite kind of music? R&B (Rested and almost Bohemian).
I wish Thursdays had a ‘skip to Saturday’ button.
Me on Thursday morning: “I’m going to get so much done today!” Me on Thursday afternoon: blank stare
Thursday: When you can almost taste the weekend, but it’s still too far to reach.
What do you call a happy Thursday? A Thappy Day!
My brain has too many tabs open. On Thursdays, they all freeze.
Is it Thursday yet? Asking for a friend… who is me.
Thursday is my second favorite F word. Food is my first.
Why did the calendar start complaining on Thursday? It felt like it was getting too close to the weekend and everything was going to get too crazy.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves Thursdays? A Thesaurus.
Thursday’s the day I accidentally call Monday by the wrong name.
My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I accidentally slept until noon today. Happy Thursday!
How do you make Thursday morning fly by? Throw a clock at it.
On Thursdays, every meme hits different – especially the drinking ones.
The only thing that makes Thursday better? A meme to go with your drink.
If Monday is the villain, then Thursday is the superhero bringing memes to save the day.
Thursday’s motto: Drink, meme, repeat.
What’s the best way to survive a Thursday? With a meme in one hand and a drink in the other.
Why did the meme cross the road? To get to Thirsty Thursday happy hour.
Thursdays are all about good vibes, great drinks, and even better memes.
Meme-ingful Thursdays: Where every joke hits just right.
When in doubt, meme it out – especially on a Thursday.
Thursday: When the memes are strong, but the drinks are stronger.
A Thursday without memes is like a drink without a chaser.
Sip happens, especially on Thursdays – and memes are there to prove it.

Top Thirsty Thursday Quotes for a Night of Laughter

“Thursday: The official start of the pre-weekend celebration.”
“Sip, sip, hooray! It’s Thirsty Thursday.”
“Cheers to Thursday: Where the drinks are cold and the jokes are bold.”
“Thirsty Thursdays: Because who wants to wait for Friday?”
“On Thursdays, we trust – in laughter and libations.”
“Thursdays are for making pour decisions and loving every moment.”
“Thirsty Thursday: Where the quotes are wise and the drinks are wiser.”
Why did the beer go to therapy on Thursday? It had too many emotional hops.
Thirsty Thursday: The only day it’s acceptable to call your liver a sponge.
I’m not saying I’m excited for Thirsty Thursday, but I’ve already named my drinks.
My therapist told me to embrace my feelings. So, I ordered a double. Happy Thirsty Thursday!
Thirsty Thursday: When water suddenly becomes unappealing.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato, just like me on Thirsty Thursday night!
Thirsty Thursday: Because Friday is too far away and Wednesday is just… sad.
I’m on a seafood diet for Thirsty Thursday. I see food, I drink beer.
Thirsty Thursday: When you start counting down the hours on Wednesday evening.
“A little bit of laughter, a lot of drinks – that’s a Thursday promise.”
“Thirsty Thursdays: Perfectly designed to make Friday jealous.”
“The only thing stronger than my Thursday drink? My Thursday jokes.”
“Thursday’s philosophy: Drink first, ask questions later.”
“May your drinks be strong and your Thursday quotes be even stronger.”
“On Thursdays, we speak the universal language of cheers.”
“A toast to Thursdays: May they always be happy, and our drinks always be full.”
“Good drinks, good jokes, great Thursdays.”
My Thirsty Thursday outfit is 50% comfy clothes, 50% “I might meet someone.”
What’s a pirate’s favorite day of the week? Thirsty Thursday…ARGHHHHH you coming out?
Thirsty Thursday is like a warm hug… made of alcohol.
Thirsty Thursday: Prepping my excuses for Friday since Monday.
I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans after all this beer, or my budget after Thirsty Thursday.
Why did the grape stop running after the car? It ran out of juice! Have some on Thirsty Thursday!
Thirsty Thursday: Proof that adults need recess too.
I told my boss I needed a personal day on Friday. He said, “You mean a Thirsty Thursday recovery day?”
“Thursday’s mantra: Laugh, sip, repeat.”
“A great drink and a good quote can solve all of Thursday’s problems.”
“Thirsty Thursday: A time to unwind, uncork, and unleash the fun.”
“Here’s to Thursday – the best excuse for a little midweek celebration.”

Raise Your Glass to These Thirsty Thursday Puns

“Wine not start Thursday with a little fun?”
Thursdays call for “glass half full” kind of attitude.
A toast to Thursday: Pour decisions make the best memories.
Raise your glass, it’s Thirsty Thursday – let the good times roll.
When life gives you Thursday, make it a Thirsty one.
Why did the beer cheer on Thursday? Because it’s the gateway to the weekend.
Thirsty Thursdays are all about raising your spirits – literally.
What did the cocktail say to the wine on Thursday? “You’re grape!”
On Thursdays, the only lifting I do is raising my glass.
Why did the bartender break up with the soda? Because he said she was too fizz-ical.
I’m not sure what to think about water… it’s so watered down.
What do you call a sad strawberry daiquiri? A boo-zy drink.
Let’s give ’em something to wine about on Thirsty Thursday!
I’m soda-pressed I can’t think of any good jokes right now!
You want a beer? Hold on, I’ll have one in a min-ute.
Having a beer is my only mead-ium for staying sane.
It’s Thirsty Thursday, let’s get hoppy!
I tried to make wine, but it was a grape mistake.
Thirsty Thursday: a good excuse to let the gin begin.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
I need a drink to stop me from making bad puns. That’s the spirit!
Thirsty Thursday – A pitcher is worth 1000 words.
This Thirsty Thursday, don’t get schooner rather than later.
It’s time for a little pour-ty!
What did the beer say to the bartender? “I’m feeling hoppy!”
If you’re feeling blue, try a Blue Moon – it might cheer you up!
I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically off-balanced.
Why did the man name his drink business ‘Mixology’? He found his calling.
You know what they say, Hakuna Ma-Vodka!
You know it’s Thirsty Thursday when your glass is as full as your heart.
Thursdays are for “wine-ing” down and “pouring” it up.
If Thursday was a drink, it would be a mix of fun, laughter, and a splash of sass.
What’s the best way to celebrate Thursday? Raise a glass and say “cheers.”
Thirsty Thursday: A reason to raise a glass and make a toast.
On Thursdays, every sip is a little sweeter.
The only thing that should be empty on a Thursday is your work schedule.
Thirsty Thursdays are for raising the bar – and your glass.
If drinks could talk on Thursday, they’d say “Sip happens.”
Thursday’s motto: Lift your spirits, one glass at a time.

Thirsty Thursday Humor: The Perfect Blend for a Laugh

How do you make a perfect Thursday? Just add a splash of humor.
Thursday humor is like a fine wine – it gets better with each sip.
The only blend we love more than wine? A blend of Thursday jokes and laughter.
Why did the joke run away from Monday? It was saving itself for Thirsty Thursday.
Thursday humor is best served chilled – with a side of happy hour.
What’s a pirates favorite day of the week? Thirs… Arrr… sday.
I tried to explain to my girlfriend what a palindrome is. She said, “Wow.”
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! (Works with a celebratory drink.)
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
Thirsty Thursday: The only day you can accidentally start a hobby. (That hobby being collecting empty glasses).
Thirsty Thursdays: When the jokes flow as freely as the drinks.
What’s a Thursday without a joke? Just another boring day of the week.
When in doubt, stir up some Thursday humor – it always hits the spot.
Why did the joke love Thursday? Because it was always in good spirits.
Thursday humor is like a cocktail – mix it right, and it hits just right.

Laughter is the best mixer for a perfect Thursday.
The best jokes are the ones you hear on a Thursday night at happy hour.
Why do Thursday jokes taste so good? Because they’re brewed with laughter.
Thursday is the day for good jokes, good drinks, and even better vibes.
Why did the bartender break up with the tequila? He said it was too salty.
What’s a vampire’s favorite day of the week? Thirsty Thursday!
I’m not saying I’m thirsty, but I just winked at a water fountain.
Thirsty Thursday: When you start pre-gaming for Friday… on Thursday.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So, now I drink in front of a mirror.
Why did the beer bottle break up with the can? It said, “I need more space!”
Why did the cocktail cross the road? To get to the other bar.
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it… especially on Thirsty Thursday.”
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! (Best enjoyed with a pint).
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. (Good for a knowing chuckle at the bar)
Why did the orange stop running? Because he ran out of juice.
I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my budget after Thirsty Thursday.
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
Why did the coffee go to the police? It got mugged!
Thirsty Thursday: Where “just one drink” turns into a history lesson you can’t remember.
What do you call a Thursday without humor? A sad Wednesday.
Thirsty Thursday humor: It’s all about cracking up and cracking open a cold one.
The perfect recipe for a Thursday night? A pinch of jokes, a dash of laughter, and a whole lot of drinks.
Thursday humor is like a drink – refreshing and always leaves you wanting more.
A joke a day keeps the Thursday blues away – especially if there’s a drink in hand.

Drinking Jokes for Thursday: Sip, Smile, Repeat

What’s the best part of Thursday? That first sip of your favorite drink.
When life gives you Thursday, make sure it’s chilled.
Why do drinks always smile on a Thursday? Because they know the weekend is near.
Sip happens – especially on a Thursday.
Thirsty Thursday: When one drink becomes two, and two becomes… who’s counting?
Why did the cocktail go to therapy on Thursday? It was feeling a little “shaken.”
Thursdays are for sipping and smiling – all in one gulp.
The only thing better than a Thursday joke is a Thursday drink.
Why did the beer bottle break up with the wine glass? Too many stem problems.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I drink beer with it. Especially on Thursday.
Why did the grape stop running? He ran out of juice – probably because it’s almost Friday.
Thursdays: The day I start my weekend diet. One part wine, one part chocolate.
I told my wife I was going to the gym after work…she just laughed and handed me a bottle opener. It’s Thursday.
What’s a pirate’s favorite day of the week? Thirsday!
My brain has too many tabs open. Time to crack open a beer and close a few. Thursdays are my go-to for that.
Sip sip hooray – it’s finally Thursday!
The best way to enjoy a Thursday joke? With a drink in hand, of course.
Why did the wine glass blush on Thursday? It saw the beer getting bottled up.
Thursdays are for small sips, big smiles, and endless laughter.
If Monday had a face, I would punch it. Luckily it’s Thursday and I’m punchy for other reasons.
I’m not saying I’m an alcoholic, but I get happy hour reminders on my phone every Thursday.
Why did the cocktail blush? Because it saw the bar!
What’s a vampire’s favorite drink on a Thursday? A Bloody Mary.
I’m not sure what’s tighter, my pants after Thanksgiving or my budget before Friday. Time for cheap beer!
Drink like it’s Thursday – because it is.
If Thursday had a motto, it would be “Sip, smile, repeat.”
What’s the difference between a Thursday joke and a Friday one? A few extra drinks.
Cheers to Thursday – where every sip comes with a smile.
On Thursdays, we sip like nobody’s watching.
It’s Thursday, which means I’m 95% coffee and 5% questioning my life choices…until happy hour.
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry after a Thursday night happy hour.
I hate when I lose my car keys…but I’m okay when I lose them on Thursday. Uber is my friend.
Thursdays are for tequila, because tomorrow is Friday. Almost made it, my dude.
My therapist told me to embrace what makes me happy…I think she secretly works for the brewery.
I tried to explain alcohol to my kids. They said, “So, it’s basically adult juice?” …They’re not wrong.
Why did the bartender throw the beer out of the bar? Because it was past its hop-portunity.
My doctor told me I needed more iron in my diet. I guess I’ll start drinking Guinness. It’s Thursday after all.
Drink of choice for a Thursday joke? Anything that makes you smile.
The only way to survive Thursday? Sip, laugh, and sip some more.

Cheers to the Funniest Thirsty Thursday Puns and Jokes

“Ale” be there for you, especially on a Thursday.
Why did the wine laugh on Thursday? It found the joke grape.
I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my budget for Thirsty Thursday drinks.
What’s a pirate’s favorite drink on Thirsty Thursday? Arrrrr-ange juice!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. (It’s not always about alcohol, sometimes it’s just thirsty for attention!)
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! Just like my reasons for needing a drink on Thursday.
Don’t “wine” about it – just pour yourself a Thursday drink.
Beer today, gone tomorrow – especially on a Thursday.
Thirsty Thursday: Where puns and pours go hand in hand.
Why did the margarita cross the road? To find a better happy hour on Thursday.
Cheers to Thursday – it’s “brew-tiful” out here.
Why did the beer bottle go to therapy? Because it had too many issues bottled up!
What do you call a sad strawberry daiquiri? A berry blue beverage.
What do you call a beer that’s always complaining? A whine-er.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I drink beer with it.
Why did the brewery close? It didn’t have enough hops for its survival!
What’s a bartender’s favorite day of the week? Thirsty Thursday, for obvious spirits reasons!
I tried to explain Thirsty Thursday to my dog. He just gave me a pawsitively confused look.
What’s a frog’s favorite drink? Croak-a-cola!
I like my jokes how I like my beer: hoppy and punny.
My wallet is feeling a little light…must be Thirsty Thursday again.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta, just like my excuse to skip work for Thirsty Thursday.
Why did the orange stop running? Because he ran out of juice! Time for a cocktail!
I’m not slurring my words; I’m speaking in Thursday cursive.
“Grapeful” for every Thursday drink and joke that comes my way.
A toast to Thursday: May our drinks be cold, and our puns be bold.
If drinks could laugh, they’d love Thursdays just as much as we do.
Thirsty Thursday puns: Pour, play, and laugh the night away.
On Thursdays, the puns are bottomless – just like our drinks.
I’m not saying I’m obsessed with Thirsty Thursday, but my doctor prescribed “hydration.”
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato, who probably needs a drink.
“Doctor, I think I’m a beverage.” “Well, we’ll soon see if you’re a tonic!”
I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila. It’s Thirsty Thursday!
A good Thursday pun is like a cold drink – refreshing and always needed.
Sip sip hooray, let’s toast to the pun-derful Thursday.
What did the gin say to the tonic on Thursday? “You complete me.”
Every good Thursday joke deserves a “cheers” at the end.
Thirsty Thursday: Because there’s no “pour” excuse not to laugh.
If Thursday was a pun, it would be mixed and stirred to perfection.

Get Ready for the Weekend with These Thursday One-Liners

What do you call a Thursday with no jokes? A missed opportunity.
The best way to prep for the weekend? Start laughing on a Thursday.
Thursday: The perfect day for a pre-weekend laugh and drink.
Why did the beer laugh on Thursday? Because it knew the weekend was close.
On Thursdays, every laugh comes with a side of fun – and a drink.
When in doubt, laugh it out – especially on a Thursday.
Thursday: The day before the day we can finally say, “Happy Friday!”
My brain is 90% weekend. The other 10% is trying to remember what day it is.
Why did the week get a therapist? Because it had too many Mondays and not enough Fridays!
It’s Thursday, which means I’m one step closer to becoming a professional couch potato.
Thursdays are like the appetizer to the weekend’s main course. Dig in!
Just survived another Wednesday. Thursday, you’re next!
I’m pretty sure my coffee knows it’s Thursday and is working extra hard today.
What’s the difference between Thursday and Friday? About 24 hours of pure anticipation.
It’s Thursday! Almost time to practice my hobby of doing absolutely nothing.
Thursday is the day I start mentally checking out and entering the weekend zone.
I love the smell of potential weekend plans in the air. Happy Thursday!
I’ve decided Thursday is the new Friday. I’m starting the weekend early. Don’t tell my boss.
Why did the Thursday get a ticket? For speeding through the week to get to Friday!
Thursday: Making weekend plans while simultaneously pretending to be productive.
Keep calm, it’s Thursday! Only one more sleep until freedom!
Get your laugh on early – start Thursday with a joke and a drink.
A Thursday laugh is the best way to start the weekend warmup.
What’s better than a Thursday laugh? A Thursday laugh with a twist – of lime.
Thursdays are made for good times, great laughs, and even better drinks.
Laugh your way into the weekend, one Thursday joke at a time.
The best Thursday laughs are the ones shared with friends – and a drink.
What’s the best way to enjoy a Thursday? With a laugh and a cocktail.
If you can’t laugh on a Thursday, you’re not doing it right.
Why did the calendar get invited to all the parties? Because it knew how to bring the date! Happy almost-Friday!
It’s Thursday. Or as I like to call it, “Pre-Friday.”
Thursdays are just Fridays in disguise. Don’t tell Friday, it’s a surprise party.
Dear Thursday, are you sure you’re not Friday? You’re acting a little suspicious.
I’m not saying I’m excited for the weekend, but I already picked out my “relaxing” socks. Happy Thursday!
Laughter is the best mixer for any Thursday drink.
Thursday’s punchline: Laugh now, weekend later.
What’s a Thursday without laughter? Just another Wednesday.
A great laugh on a Thursday is the perfect start to a fantastic weekend.
If a Thursday joke doesn’t make you laugh, just sip and try again.

Thirsty Thursday Fun: Jokes to Share with Friends

Sharing is caring – especially when it comes to Thursday jokes and drinks.
Why did the drink bring a joke to the party? To break the ice.
Thursdays are for sharing – jokes, drinks, and all the fun.
Best friends + Thursday jokes = A night to remember.
The only thing better than a Thursday joke? Sharing it with your crew.
What’s the best thing to bring to a Thursday gathering? A joke and a bottle opener.
Friends don’t let friends laugh alone – especially on a Thursday.
Why did the beer bottle go to school? To become a little brighter!
What’s a beer’s favorite subject in school? Alge-brew-a!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Why did the coffee go to the police? It got mugged!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
Where should you go if you want to learn how to make ice cream? Sundae school!
What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine!
I just found out I’m colorblind. It came completely out of the purple!
What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
I tried to explain to my kids what beer goggles are, but it was hard to see their point of view.
My therapist told me, “Time heals all wounds.” So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
What kind of bees make milk? Boo-bees!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Thirsty Thursday: Where jokes are served as quickly as the drinks.
Why did the beer love Thursdays? Because it always had friends to drink with.
Good jokes, great drinks, amazing friends – the perfect Thursday combination.
Sharing a joke on Thursday is like sharing a drink – it’s always better together.
The only thing better than a Thursday laugh? A Thursday laugh with your besties.
Friends who laugh together on Thursday stay together – or at least until the next drink.
What’s a Thursday without friends? A missed chance for a joke and a toast.
Thursday jokes are like drinks – best enjoyed with company.
Thursdays are all about making memories, one joke at a time.
A great Thursday joke shared is a great Thursday joke doubled.
Laughter is contagious – especially on a Thursday with friends.
Thirsty Thursday jokes: Made for sharing, sipping, and endless fun.

Short Drink Puns & Jokes for Your Thirsty Thursday Party

Party like it’s a Thirsty Thursday – because it is.
Sip happens – and there’s no better place than a Thursday party.
If Thursday was a drink, it would be a party punch.
Pour yourself some fun – it’s Thirsty Thursday after all.
Why did the beer get invited to every Thursday party? It’s always the life of the “pour-ty.”
Thursday parties are like wine – they get better with age.
Get ready to “rum-ble” – it’s Thirsty Thursday party time!
Why did the coffee go to the police? It got mugged!
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
I tried making wine, but all I got was grape results.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Why did the orange stop running? Because he ran out of juice.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
I like my puns intended.
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
Why did the lemonade stand close? It didn’t have enough zest!
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What’s an egg’s favorite day? Fry-day!
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Let’s taco ’bout something else.
Bring on the puns, pour out the drinks – it’s Thursday night.
Thursday’s drink of choice? Whatever makes the party “pop.”
Don’t just attend a Thursday party – pour yourself into it.
Thirsty Thursday party puns: Where every sip tells a story.
Why did the cocktail bring a joke to the party? To stir up some fun.
The best Thursday parties come with a pun in one hand and a drink in the other.
Party like a Thirsty Thursday drink – with flair and flavor.
A great Thursday party is like a cocktail – perfectly mixed and served with a pun.
Raise a glass, start the party – it’s Thirsty Thursday time.
What’s the secret ingredient to a great Thursday party? A good pun and a strong drink.
Pour it up, laugh it out – that’s the Thursday party way.
The best Thursday parties are filled with puns, laughter, and unforgettable sips.

Thirsty Thursday: Where Every Drink Has a Happy Ending

Every drink deserves a happy ending – especially on a Thursday.
Thirsty Thursday: Because every drink tells a story, and it’s always a happy one.
Why did the martini smile on Thursday? It knew it was going to be a happy hour.
The only sad thing about a Thursday drink? When it’s empty.
Thursday’s motto: Every sip leads to a happy ending.
If a drink could talk on a Thursday, it’d say, “Drink me, I promise a happy finish.”
On Thursdays, the drinks are endless and the fun is timeless.
A drink on Thursday is like a fairy tale – it always ends with a happy buzz.
What’s the happiest ending to a long Thursday? A drink, a joke, and a laugh.
Why did the beer bottle go to therapy on Thirsty Thursday? It had too many issues bottled up.
What’s the official Thirsty Thursday workout? Lifting pints to your face.
I told my therapist I drink too much on Thirsty Thursday. She said, “I’ll drink to that!”
Why did the bartender break up with the wine glass on Thirsty Thursday? They had a strained relationship.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo on Thirsty Thursday? Pouch-bound.
My wallet is always lighter after Thirsty Thursday. Must be because of all the weight it loses carrying cash to the bar.
Why did the margarita cross the road on Thirsty Thursday? To get to the other lime.
I’m not sure what’s tighter: my jeans or my grip on my drink during happy hour on Thirsty Thursday.
What did the beer say to the bar snack on Thirsty Thursday? “You complete me.”
I’m on a seafood diet on Thirsty Thursday. I see food, and I drink to it!
Why don’t skeletons drink on Thirsty Thursday? They don’t have the guts.
Thursdays are made for happy endings – one sip at a time.
Why do Thursday drinks always have a happy ending? Because they’re made with love and laughter.
Thursday nights are all about finishing strong – with a drink in hand.
The secret to a happy Thursday? A good drink and a great joke.
Thirsty Thursday drinks: Happily ever after, one sip at a time.
If Thursday were a book, every chapter would end with a sip.
Here’s to happy endings, great drinks, and unforgettable Thursdays.
What’s a pirate’s favorite day of the week? Thirsty Thursday, ARRRGH!
I’m not saying I’m addicted to Thirsty Thursday, but I alphabetize my liquor cabinet. Just kidding, I drink them all.
Why did the coffee file a police report on Thirsty Thursday? It got mugged! (I know, stretching it a bit!)
What’s a mathematician’s favorite drink on Thirsty Thursday? Root beer!
I tried to explain Thirsty Thursday to my dog. He just stared at me and licked his… well, never mind.
What do you call a sad strawberry on Thirsty Thursday? A Blue-berry!
I hate when my foot falls asleep during Thirsty Thursday. It’s like my leg is holding my beer hostage.
What do you say to comfort a friend who’s hungover on Friday? “Don’t worry, Thirsty Thursday comes every week!”
“I’m not sure what I’m more thirsty for… water or another round.” – Common Thirsty Thursday thought.
A happy ending on a Thursday is one that involves friends, drinks, and laughter.
Thursday drinks are like fairy tales – full of fun and a touch of magic.
The best Thursday nights always end on a happy note – and with a full glass.

The Best Way to Solve Thursday’s Problems is to Drown Them – in a Drink

When in doubt, drown it out – in a Thursday drink.
What’s the best cure for a rough Thursday? A drink, of course.
Thirsty Thursday: Because some problems need a liquid solution.
Why stress about Thursday when you can sip the worries away?
If Thursday gives you lemons, drown them in vodka.
A problem on Thursday is just an excuse for an extra drink.
Why did Thursday bring a snorkel to work? To handle the daily grind after drowning his problems in a drink.
What’s Thursday’s favorite cocktail? A “Problem Solver,” extra strong.
My therapist told me to find healthy coping mechanisms for my Thursday stress. I told him my coping mechanism involves a bartender.
When life gets tough on a Thursday, just pour yourself a strong one.
The best way to tackle a Thursday problem? Drown it in happy hour.
Why did the cocktail love Thursdays? Because it always solved all its problems.
A Thursday problem is just a drink waiting to happen.

Also Read: IT Puns & Jokes

You know it’s a rough Thursday when your drink starts solving all your issues.
Thursday’s secret to happiness? Drown all the worries in a glass.
If Thursday was a drink, it would be strong enough to drown any problem.
The best way to get through a tough Thursday? Take it one drink at a time.
Thursday: When you’re so close to the weekend, you can taste it…especially if it’s a margarita.
I tried drowning my problems in a drink, but the bartender kept saving them with more booze.
What did Thursday say to Friday? “Hold my beer, I’m about to drown some problems.”
Is it socially acceptable to start a support group called “Thursday’s Anonymous”? Meetings will be held at the nearest bar.
My boss asked me why I was drinking on Thursday. I said, “Because it’s the only way to handle the pressure before Friday.”
Thursdays: The day I hydrate… with vodka.
I’m not saying I have a problem with Thursdays, but my bartender knows my name and my drink.
What do you call someone who solves Thursday’s problems with a drink? A responsible adult. (wink)
Thursday is like a speed bump on the road to Friday. Fortunately, my car runs on gin.
I’m pretty sure Thursdays were invented by liquor companies.
I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a Thursday problem solver.
My doctor said I need more iron in my diet. So I started ordering my drinks with ice.
Why did Thursday get a membership to the swimming pool? To drown its sorrows!
Thursdays are just Fridays in disguise, wearing a really convincing frown and a need for whiskey.
“Drowning my sorrows” is my personal brand. What’s your brand Thursday?
I don’t always drink on Thursdays, but when I do, it’s to forget it’s only Thursday.
Thursday’s to-do list: 1. Survive. 2. Find a stiff drink. 3. Repeat.
Thursdays are for drowning – but only in delicious cocktails.
What’s the best way to solve a Thursday problem? Shake, stir, and sip.
A Thursday drink a day keeps the problems away.
When Thursday throws problems your way, throw them into a drink.
Sip, relax, and let Thursday’s problems drift away.

Thursday jokes and puns are the perfect way to keep the week lighthearted and filled with smiles. By bringing laughter and fun to a day that often feels like it’s dragging, these clever quips set the tone for a great weekend ahead.

Whether you’re sharing them with friends, family, or colleagues, or just need a quick mood boost yourself, these jokes can turn any ordinary Thursday into a memorable day of joy. Keep the laughter rolling, share the humor, and make every Thursday something to look forward to with a little bit of wit and laughter.

Cheers to spreading the good vibes!